so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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