my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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