how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
my poor anus
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
