hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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