some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize