I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Drunk is not a location!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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