when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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