She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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