you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
