Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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