babies were throwing up all over the place
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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