i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
