FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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