omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
