he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well I just put wine in my tea
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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