so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
