Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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