Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
