I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
