Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
