is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
