i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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