ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
