Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
