why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm both gender and math confused
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
