the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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