you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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