Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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