Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
