He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
