if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
