Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize