So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
operation have a gay friend backfired
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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