hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize