can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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