I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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