i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
