is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I checked into jail on foursquare
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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