so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
