Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
