I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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