would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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