Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she told me i tasted like america
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
