Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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