Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dignity is for republicans.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
