I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
