thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
