I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
