Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i was born a porn star she said
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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