Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
