just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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