do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize