A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
