friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
