Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
