Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
