why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.