There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS