yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
