What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
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Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."