That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I have demons in me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
