Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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