There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
