Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am available for nakedness
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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