If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
