Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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