she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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