so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
