my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize