allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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