Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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