i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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