cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I will die if light touches me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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